User blog comment:Despondence/1-800-CHRISTMAS BLING/@comment-27218620-20151214225820

Name: Ditzy Digger

Gender: Male

Age: 43

Problem: This guy dug through the Earth to get to China, only to get stuck in the core. Turns out, the core of the Earth is a candy land filled with dinosaurs. Don't ask me how he got a phone.